Traditional Changes

Tradition. Most of us have these in our lives and often they are found around family, friends, birthdays and especially the Christmas Holidays. Folks, I appreciate Tradition because it offers comfort and sanity in our craziness of life. Having similarities to look forward to each year brings satisfaction for some, and breaking away from these things can be difficult.

A normal Christmas Eve spent with the Dobutovich's consists of dinner together, taking part in the candlelight Christmas Eve service and coming home to open stockings, something we've done as children to bascially curb our curiosity till the morning ribbon-ripping session, when our family opened gifts together, and eagerly anticipated my mom's side of the family coming over. A big lunch always ensued followed by more presents and dessert that left us lethargically stuffed and sleepy on our sofas. This year, though, rocked tradition.

Elderly people are carriers of tradition. With them come comfort and stories. They carry a deep love and bind together families as if they were the roots of a brilliant tree. The roots of my mother's side carry many pores of tradition, travel, experience and hardship in their lives. They now also carry a physical longing to be pain free and with their maker.

This year, my grandparents were too elderly to leave the house and were not able to come over on Christmas Day as they once always did. We didn't think they'd be here this year, so having them was a blessing counted. It's like reading an incredible book; when you near the end of the story you are filled with some saddness, but yet you know it's not over. That is how I feel with my grandparents. They are here with us, but some tradition must be changed. The back cover is slowly approaching. But along with a back cover comes the front cover of a new book.

(My Mom's Side of the family came over to sing Christmas Carols with my grandparents on Christmas Eve)

There is much to be read in our storybooks, new traditions to come and seasons filled with fresh air await. I'm not going to deny the saddness the closing of particular traditions leaves me with, but I have discovered the comfort in a crisp new page of life longing to be read aloud.

One Manhattan Day

I birthed the idea on Saturday afternoon from the conception of a desire to explore and a need to be with my family. A trip to Manhattan, SoHo to be specific and to be yet more precise... Dean and Deluca.

To all you masters of the mixers, sultans of the spatulas and czars of cooking I believe you comprehend the whimsy of gourmet and over-priced grocers. For some, it's more than just a knife. In fact it's a silver blade which smoothly spreads creamy, churned butter on the crisp on the outside, hearty, yet soft on the inside bread. Now let me just pause to say food is not an obsession of mine, just a part of my life that I take great joy and delight in.

Dean and Deluca welcomes you in with cathedral ceilings and fresh produce right at the entrance. Exotic mushrooms sit in perfect rows as if just picked fresh that morning and waiting to be prepared that evening. For Autumn, pumpkins line the front rows of the grocery garden and remind those who celebrate to be thankful for every scent climbing up your nose. Lying behind this produce garden is a vertical field of flowers, delicately arrange and mindfully prepared to please the eye. As my mom and I took a gander, a kind woman offered her assistance with pride. A glimmering reminder of how blessed she is to have employment she enjoys. Moving further into the jungle of exotic blends we find the coffee square with roasted beans from around the world. As I lift the lids from the coffee jars to breathe deeply, a fresh, crisp fragrance fills my lungs, leaving a calming after shock. Who would think coffee when roasted fresh and well could calm the senses and appease the taste buds. Making my way around the coffee corner is the candy and dried fruit; just looking at the apricots made my mouth water. Sniffing these fruits was all I did while passing them, but the delightful colors have painted a beautiful pallet in my creative mind. Onto the pastures of cheese was next on my list. The counter was high and marble covered with clean glass casings, but not too far to reach and ask for assistance. That day we delved into the purchase of new cheese; a sheep milk cheese, an delightfully aged gouda and a stinky bleu cheese for my dad.

A day worth while because it was spent with my parents and allowed my mind to explore the corners of the world via food through one small yet grand store. Food is a blessing; let us never take it for granted. May it always be used to bring people together and reveal care.

Cows Outside? Yes.

How can one not enjoy cheese?

Cheese! I’m not sure why we say it when we’re taking pictures, but I DO know that it’s a delicacy all over the world. One is able to experience it in a variety of flavors, sharpness, scents and textures. It is a food for the senses no doubt. Funny to think that in order to create it, bacteria has to be very hard at work. I believe that a little more healthy bacteria in all our systems would improve our lives more than we can understand.

But again on to the good stuff. Cheese. Kraft and store brands do not count, I’m sorry, but a cheese connoisseur would not approve of that as genuine. I’m talking about the kind that you only need a few bites to feel fully satisfied and the kind the French have for dessert. Several weekends ago my fellow lover of food, Dad, and I went to this cool farm called Bobolink Dairy to take delight in this thing we call Cheese.

Our excursion was sparked because we heard Bobolink Dairy had moved from Vernon, NJ to Milford, NJ [I cannot fathom how much work it is to move an entire farm, only Noah would have true empathy]. Bobolink Dairy is committed to raising and selling grass-fed beef, creating the delicacy of aged cheese and selling smoked duck. To put the cherry on top, they are quite seasonal, as a farm they have no choice. At Bobolink, one is able to purchase an entire calf and have it prepared by the farmers for the customers winter storage or summer if you choose. One is able to purchase fine cheeses (cave-aged cheddar is one of their bests in my opinion), and what cheese farm is complete without a brick oven to bake the crispiest and freshest bread.

While there, my dad and I bought about 3 pounds of excellent cheese; nearly perfect cheese, and some of the best I have ever tasted. Duck prosciutto, something I had never tasted before, was also made there. And BREAD! Again, not the store brand breads, bagged breads and precut loafs. This bread was freshly baked in a fire brick oven. We walked out of Bobolink with 5 ciabatta loafs and 2 cranberry-walnut sticks, though this clearly was not enough with the way my family enjoys authentic artisan bread.

On they way home, I just could not resist tasting one of the cranberry-walnut breadsticks. They were about 1.5 ft long and 3 inches in diameter. That breadstick was to me as blood is to a vampire... I ate the whole thing. Call me a glutton if you choose, I say I’m just treating my taste buds to what they’ve been missing all these years. While driving back home we enjoyed the drive, the smells of fresh bread filling the car and snacking on cheese that we could just not resist. Before reaching home, we picked up some farmstand grape tomatoes that were first sour then sweet in your mouth. Bodily chemistry is amazing how it reacts to food.

If bread and cheese is your particular thing, check out Bobolink Dairy in Milford, NJ. It’s a beautiful drive and well worth the excursion. As one of my closest friend’s grandmother says, “Food is Love,” which I do not beg to differ. Enjoy :)

Surrounded by Diapers, Sippy Cups and the Occasional Fart

And no, I'm not talking about babies, though yes I have four baby cousins. I'm talking about that sad part of life called old age.

My grandparents' (Mom's parents) bodies are preparing to return to dust. It's a difficult thing to watch at times, but more than anything at this time I am reminded about how our lives are not our own. Just as babies require adornment, love and attention for every squeak and squawk they make, the dear elderly our culture has so ashamedly pushed to the curb craves the same thing. For starters, I cannot imagine what it must be like seeing yourself change, age and become... well... different than you ever imagined yourself to be. The most difficult part of it is knowing that this we cannot change. All we can do is love them and offer them the respect and honor they are due.

Just as babies, my grandparents crave attention and love; they MUST know that they will be cared for till the day they pass. Babies need that love and affection. They rely on their mother to feed them and would not survive if adults chose to ignore their cries. Like with babies, the same is with the elderly; again those caring for them need to understand that their lives are not their own. I often think of my parents and all they have offered and sacrificed to give so much love to us, so much TIME to us, the two greatest gifts. My parents life is like a cycle; they have birthed my brother and I, raised us, saw us through the awkward years and

let us cry on them in the heartache years. They taught us to seek the Lord in all our endeavors and to walk with confidence and live with a side of adventure. They saw us off to college and lost us for four years as we immersed ourselves in studies and building life long relationships with friends and significant others. They've seen us walk across the graduation stage with misty eyes and a heart pounding in their chests with pride. And just when they thought it was over... their very own parents, the ones who have done the same for them as they have done to us, begin to pull a Benjamin Button.

Children need their parents and in turn parents will need their children.

Let us not be fools; let us give up what we have to find our lives in Christ, knowing that this is how life is. I promise it will not be empty, I promise there will be difficulties, but I promise that it will not be in vein... It will all be for the glory of our God, in whom our hope lies.

Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune

These are two shows that are always on in the evening at my house being that there are two wonderful elderly women at my house. The TV is always on downstairs and my great Aunt, Cornelia, also likes to watch Judge Judy and NJ 12 in the afternoon. Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of my very God-fearing grandma, Maria, watching Jerry Springer reruns. When I ask her "Omama, what are you watching," she quickly is like, "eh it was on and I just stopped here. I don't know." Then she will proceed to change the channel to something less vulgar. I guess when you're that age you're interested to see what kind of a mad world the youngsters are living in.

Living at home has taught me a lot about my character, my patience and my love; basically the way I live and why I live this way. I've learned time and again that my life is not mine to live, but for the Lord to give. It is always about living in the way Christ has instructed us for God. Sometimes this is hard and I find it easiest to be the most impatient with my family... Shame.On.Me. I know that it will be God who continues to soften my heart to continue offering the most precious gift to people; TIME. I learned this today as I joined my Great Aunt Cornelia on a walk around the block. She of all people can be very difficult at times, but that does not excuse my impatience. She still is a child of God, a beautiful creation.

You know, I've been thinking often about what my meeting with Christ will be like for the first time some day. It dawned on me that this is going to be a real meeting; a face to face meeting (or maybe a bowed, fallen face to face). God is alive, Christ is alive and one day I will meet Him, and though I cannot wait, I would not want to waste this gift of TIME that God has given me here to spend wisely and for Him. So often I find myself asking What am I doing? Where am I going? How shall I live? And often I search for this answer in the wrong places when already these questions have been answered.

Matthew 10:38-40, "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worth of Me. he who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it. He who receives you receives Me,and he who recieves me receives Him who sent Me."

The words of Christ Himself remind us to take up our cross and lose our life, for Him, to find it. This means my time belongs to Him, and it will be in His time that I one day will see Him. This is not in vein, but for Him.

3's Charming

Well, as some of you may know, my Aunt and Uncle gave birth to triplets on Dec. 24th. They did come early and had to be in the hospital for a little over a month, but now two of them are home. It's such an exciting time. Jakob is still waiting to come home, but we pray it won't be much longer. Here are some pictures of their sweet faces (from L to R it's David, Elizabeth, Jakob):

They are just precious. I haven't been able to hold them yet since I've been battling a slight cold for the past 2.5 weeks, but soon I hope to see them and gently squeeze them and love on them.